joke for you

joke for you

When I was a kid I said to my uncle "can I have £1, he said "50p? What do you want 25p for?"

When I was a kid the ice cream van went past with the bell going, My uncle said "no good looking at me, he only plays the bells when he has run out of ice cream.

My uncle is so tight that when he farts only dogs can hear it.

 

joke for you

Boy asks mom what does pussy and bitch mean, Mom says "A pussy is a cat, a bitch is a female dog." Still confused he asks his dad. His dad said, "You should have come to me first son." he pulls out a penthouse mag and drew a circle Around the vagina. "A pussy is everything inside the circle" The boy asks, "So dad what's a bitch.""Everything outside the circle"

Sorry ladies, its only a joke though.

 

joke for you

Father O'Reilly let the kids of the Parish shave his hair off for charity. Afterwards he was asked how he felt.
He said."It feels a bit strange but I think it makes my cock look bigger."

 

joke for you

After hearing the awful news of the 4 marines urinating on the dead Taliban bodies I can't help but think....

Surely 1 of them needed a ****!

 

joke for you

Englishman, Irishman and a scotsman go to the pub for a few drinks.
Englishman spends £30, Irishman spends £50, Scotsman spends nothing and gets absolutely bladdered