Do you enjoy having kids??? Until you are ready to stop making your life all about yourself, you should not have kids. If you, what you like, and the things you do are the main focus of your life, don't have kids. So many of the divorce cases I handled were about the peoples' own personal failings/shortcomings, rather than the marital failings or the stressors. The people just failed/refused to see that. They were too close to the issue to rationalize it any other way. There is nothing wrong with being selfish either. Heck, you can be selfish all your life and do fine. Make your world all about your working out, your food intake, your passion for golf, or travel, or cars, or whatever. Then find yourself some type of mate who makes her little world all about supporting your little world and you two just may be all set. But, if you have kids,it isn't about you. It's about your role in raising them to be the best humans they can be. That's it, forever. Get it? I waited until mid 30's for kids. Thank God I did. I didn't have it in me to be selfless any earlier in my life. Now, I am a Dad and Husband before anything else. Get it? Before ANYthing else. That's it, forever. It has been the hardest and best part about my life to realize that enriching my life the most meant making my life the least about me. Sounds weird, but I believe it. And I have branched out now to help others more too. I sit on the Board of a Foundation to help deployed Marines. I am involved in philanthropy through my Firm. Again, all from realizing life isn't about me.
