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  • Do you enjoy having kids???

    Discussion in 'Over Age 35' started by crormaSoila18, May 7, 2012.

    1. crormaSoila18

      crormaSoila18 Well-Known Member

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      younger guy who under 35


      Been dating girl for awhile now. My 1st srs. relationship. She hinted about me at getting married. past couple of days ive been thinking. My parents were divorced right before i went to college. They bit*hed about having to raise kids and the strain on their marriage. People tell me all the time its not your fault. I know that but i don't want to have kids if im going to hate it like my parents. Ive never had a good relationship w/ my dad. My biggest fear is having a son and were not as tight as a knot. Just tell over 35 misc......do you enjoy having kids,do you have fun w/them, have they made your life better, have they help/or hurt your marriage??????????????????
       
    2. vijugati8g

      vijugati8g Well-Known Member

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      Do you enjoy having kids???

      I have a 6 year old son. I was 35 when he was born. I am glad I waited until my mid 30s to have my son. My life is 1000 times better with my son in it. When you have a child your perpective on life changes - your focus becomes your child rather than yourself. I love watching him grow/develop. And I love watching him play sports. Great for my marriage and great for my life. I do not know a single person that feels differently than me.
       
    3. jailynn24hb

      jailynn24hb Well-Known Member

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      Do you enjoy having kids???

      They make your marriage more of what it already was, in my experience. If it's bad, it's likely to get worse, if it was good, then it'll get better (or maybe no worse). As for your parents, my guess is that it was easier to blame kids than it was each other, but that's just a guess. It seems a lot of people like to externalize their faults.

      I've only had my two kids for a few years now and though they are exhausting and frustrating at times they make my life better overall and I hope I can at least not totally screw up theirs while raising them. I have a great wife so with any luck she'll offset my impatience and strictness. At the rate I'm going I'm going to need some big boys to help wheel my crippled ass around when I get older.
       
    4. jailynn24hb

      jailynn24hb Well-Known Member

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      Do you enjoy having kids???

      Having kids is the best thing I ever did.
       
    5. gabarit

      gabarit Well-Known Member

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      Do you enjoy having kids???

      yeah i guess it would be able to raise someone up and watch them grow w/ someone you love.
      thanks
      alot of my extended family has had kids out of wedlock and the only reason they have them is because of no money for abortion.
      guess ive been surrounded by negativity
       
    6. vijugati8g

      vijugati8g Well-Known Member

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      Do you enjoy having kids???

      I love having kids. They are two fine & outstanding human beings. They're 16, and 19, now.
      Every stage has been interesting, and rewarding in its own way. But, there's something about sacrificing YOUR personal wants and needs for another.

      Children pull out something inside you. An unconditional love. But, having children is a personal choice. Not something anyone can 'tell' or 'suggest' for someone to do. If someone wishes to not have children, it's totally a personal choice.
       
    7. Capone

      Capone Well-Known Member

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      Do you enjoy having kids???

      I love having kids. They can be infuriating and they are a lot of work. But they are also the best thing to ever happen to me. I might complain about having to cart them all over town for their different activities, but watching them score a goal, or win a medal, or even just flat out have fun with whatever they are doing brings me a lot of happiness.

      As for my marriage, I'm divorced from their dad. But it absolutely was not because of the added strain of having kids. I knew before marrying him that it wasn't right, but pushed it off as pre-wedding jitters. 10 years later I woke up and realized my life would be happier without him.

      I'm now remarried to a man that has no kids other than my 2 sons. He got a crash course in parenting with a 3 year old and a 7 year old. Our marriage is different than it probably would have been had we gone the traditional route and been alone together first, but it certainly isn't strained.

      In both cases, having kids has neither hurt nor helped my marriage. I've known people who have claimed that having kids hurt their marriage. In almost every single case, one of them didn't really want kids but bowed to the pressure of the one who did. That's not healthy at all and really isn't the result of having kids, but is the result of being in a bad match.
       
    8. Bernatek

      Bernatek Well-Known Member

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      Do you enjoy having kids???

      Kids can be stressful, no doubt about it. The fun outweighs the stress, though. I wouldn't trade mine for the world.
       
    9. defelqy

      defelqy Well-Known Member

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      Do you enjoy having kids???

      thanks mom left when i was 16 because she didn't want us. Just internal fear that my future wife will do that to me.
       
    10. alomjabpd

      alomjabpd Well-Known Member

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      Do you enjoy having kids???

      Couples going through a divorce find is easier to blame everything else other than their OWN short comings. Money, lack of affection, raising KIDS ... etc. Your marriage is made up of what YOU and your WIFE put into it.
       
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