Small willy

Ok so here's text conversation between me and my mate this afternoon where i laughed so much i nearly choked to death on an orange.
I'm at my desk in my office and he's at his in another office, he has ginger hair.

mate: best invention ever!
me: what is?
mate: just got a cold Starbucks latte from Sainsbury
me: what's so good about that?
mate: i didn't know they sold them!!
me: god you lead an exciting life! lol.

(mate sends a picture of his latte to me)

me: it looks small in the picture...
mate: yeah 7.7 onces
me: Oh sh*t i've just realised what i said... hahahahaha
mate: it's not the size that matters, when will you learn!
me: yeah i bet you've heard that before! lol
mate: i'm not that small am i? be honest with me!
me: Lets not talk about it,... how long is your break?
mate: erm...answer my question and 45 mins...
me: like you said it's not the size that matters! lol. And you know how it compares you've seen enough male genitalia in the gym! ha ha
mate: i said be honest not mean! bastard! can't you just give me a straight answer?
me: why does it matter mate?
mate: firstly because i am genuinely asking and secondly i won't get offended...nobody ever tells you the truth so maybe you could? lol
me: ok well because your tall i would have expected it to be bigger but it's not really small just not in propotion to the rest of you, do you get me? but i suspect it really doesn't matter to anyone as your looks more than make up for it.....and erm your personality!

mate: OMG! so basically i got a small rusty willy!...Thanks mate you're so f*cking kind!
me: sorry PMSL!!!
mate: it gets bigger when i lose weight.
me: i've never known a willy to get bigger when you lose weight, i just think you can see it easier!! you've obviously done your research!
mate: hahaha you c*nt!
me: sorry can't breath laughing so much! lol lol
mate: i'm so glad your having a good laugh at my tiny willy!!! b*stard!!
me: sorry can't stop laughing.............
mate: nothing to be sorry about, i've had no compliants!
me: there is if you were here, whole office is reading these texts! hahahahahahahahaha
mate: ****in freak!
me: well if you've had no complaints that's a feather in your cap then isn't it. lol...sorry almost choked on my orange!
mate: good! die you b*stard!.. alrite! alrite! my tinky winky ain't that funny!
me: no your right it's no laughing matter.........but your replies where!! PMSL!!
mate: i don't know why i bother talking to you!

 

Small willy

Faggot

 

Small willy

Cool way to come out the closet bro

 

Small willy

Gay

 

Small willy

errrr u battyman

 

Small willy

Thats a lil disturbing mate...

 

Small willy

Almost like you want to tell us something...

YOU GAY?

 

Small willy

Yeah cause god forbid you should discuss another mans dick, word is it can actually turn you gay!......yawn!

 

Small willy

wtf is this sh1t

 

Small willy

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